How to Prank the Hatchet
by FrostieFreeze aka RatchetsGirl
Summary: Sideswipe and Sunstreaker love to pull pranks. Their favorite target? The Autobots' one and only medic! These are some of their successful-and not so successful-attempts to prank Ratchet the Hatchet.
1. Barbie Chaos

**Notes:**

Hey everyone! I've got a new story for you. Yeah, I probably should be working on my others, but I felt like doing this one. It's pretty different from the three stories I was working on. Now there's only two, but I just finished the third one. Anyways, it's a lot less slash, a lot less drama, and a ton more comedic. Yay! Please review, but no hate.

Oh, and I put up a bunch more Transformers pics on Deviantart, if you wanna check them out. I've gotten a lot better. I guess when I'm bored, I draw better.

Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers, their characters, or their franchises. I wish I did though. That would be totally awesome. But sadly, all I own are my stories, some drawings, and some toys. I also don't own Barbie. I don't really want to, though.

* * *

**How to Prank the Hatchet: Part 1-Barbie Chaos**

"Why did you want me to help again?" Sunstreaker asked his brother.

"Because you are the artist. And this requires an artist's touch," Sideswipe replied.

"Well, if we get in trouble, I'm blaming you. I'm just an unwilling participant," Sunstreaker said.

"Nah. You know you wanted to do this just as much as I do," Sideswipe replied.

"No."

"Yes. You like the thrill."

"Fine, you got me. But we better finish this before it's morning. I don't wanna get caught."

"Chillax, Sunny. We aren't gonna get caught. I've got it all covered."

"I hope so. And don't call me Sunny!"

"Sorry Sunshine."

"Grrrr."

* * *

The next morning, Ratchet was heading to the med bay. He worked almost every day, even his days off. So, this was pretty normal. What was not normal, however, was what he saw when he arrived.

The entire med bay was painted pink. Pink! The floors, the walls, the med berths. Even the ceiling was pink!

But that wasn't the most horrifying part. There were plastic, human, female dolls attached to almost every flat surface. Not only that, but they were horrifyingly perfect. The dimensions were all off for a normal human female. They were way too skinny, and their breasts were too big. Their legs were too long for their bodies, and their feet looked too tiny to even support them.

The ugly, plastic dolls also had the gaudiest costumes on. It's like they were going to a costume party, but took a wrong turn. There were horseback riding outfits, princess dresses, cocktail dresses, chef's outfits, nurse outfits, and any other insane costume you could think of.

Ratchet was fuming. This was his med bay! He worked here every day fixing bots that always managed to hurt themselves in some way. He didn't need this. Somebody was going to clean this up, and he knew it wasn't going to be him.

Ratchet knew exactly who the culprits were. He knew it was both of them because Sideswipe couldn't possibly manage this on his own. And they would be the bots that would fix it, even if he had to lock them in the med bay until the job was done.

"SIDESWIPE! SUNSTREAKER! GET YOUR AFTS IN HERE RIGHT NOW OR SO HELP ME I WILL TURN YOU INTO TOASTERS AND WELD YOU TO THE FRAGGING CEILING!" Ratchet screamed.

* * *

"Wow, he sounds pissed," Sideswipe said to his brother.

"What did you think was gonna happen? I don't think anybody would enjoy _that_. Should we go in there?" Sunstreaker replied.

"No. He'd kill us!" Sideswipe answered.

"But if we wait, it will probably be worse," Sunstreaker said.

"Yeah. I guess you're right. It's been nice knowing you, Sunny," Sideswipe said.

"It's been nice knowing you too, bro," Sunstreaker replied. Then they headed to face the Hatchet.

* * *

"I want both of you to clean this mess up! And you can't stop until the job is done. Or else we might have some toasters for Spike and Sparkplug. You got that?" Ratchet said.

"Yes sir!" Sideswipe said as he gave a mock salute.

Sunstreaker slapped his brother upside the head. "You're a doofus, you know that?" he said.

"But you love me anyways, Sunny," Sideswipe replied.

"Both of you, get to work," Ratchet said. Then he headed to his office to get some reports done.

"This is gonna take forever!" Sunstreaker complained.

"Yeah, but it was totally worth it," Sideswipe replied.

"I guess it was," Sunstreaker said.

"Yep! And I got it all on video!"

"Sweet. We can watch it when we're done."

"Totally worth it."

* * *

**Notes: **

Ta da! There you have it! The first part of How to Prank the Hatchet. You didn't think this was it, did you? This is only the beginning. I have more where this came from. I hope you enjoyed! I know I had a lot of fun writing this. Please review, but no hate. Until next time my dear readers!


	2. Toaster Madness

**Notes:**

Hey everyone! I'm back! I told you I had more to this story! That was only the beginning. I have a lot more of this. Yes, I do love torturing Hat…I mean Ratchet! I wish more people would read this story though. But I take what I can get. Please, please, please review! Pretty please with sugar on top! Just no hate. I hope you enjoy!

I'm also on DA if anybody wants to check out my drawings! My username is FrostieFreeze. I also have a contest for this story. If anybody draws one of the pranks within this story, they can get a chapter with a prank of their choice. Like for example, if somebody draws the pink Barbie med bay. Or if they draw either prank from this chapter. But you have to let me know where it is posted so I can see it, or you won't get a chapter. Let the contest begin!

Transformers, their characters, and their franchises do not belong to me. I just use them. All I have are my stories and some toys.

* * *

**How to Prank the Hatchet: Part 2-Toaster Madness**

Ratchet was heading to the med bay for another day of repairing bots and writing reports. He felt like that was all he did sometimes. Either that or get pranked by the twins. Speaking of which, the twins had been rather inactive as of late. Little did Ratchet know that that inactivity would soon come to an end.

A couple minutes later, an explosion rocked the base. Ratchet knew the source of the explosion. This happened pretty much on a daily basis. Whenever Wheeljack was in his lab, there was bound to be some kind of explosion. Ratchet headed to Wheeljack's lab to see what the damage was.

* * *

When he got there, Wheeljack's lab was covered in soot. Wheeljack was in the middle of it, surrounded by a bunch of random pieces of some kind of device he was building.

"Um, hey Ratch! I may have possibly blown myself up again," Wheeljack said nervously.

"No duh. Come on. Let's get you to the med bay so we can repair you. Then you can return to blowing yourself up. Can you walk?" Ratchet replied.

"Yeah. All that I'm missing is a servo this time," Wheeljack answered. Then he stood up.

"Yeah. All that you're missing. Do you happen to know where your servo is?"

"Um, no. I think it may have been destroyed in the explosion."

"That means I'm going to have to get a part to replace it. Come on." Then they headed to the med bay.

* * *

When they arrived, Ratchet directed Wheeljack to a med berth to sit down. This was pretty much routine to the medic. He headed to the supply closet and started to open it.

When he did open it, however, about fifty toasters fell out. He was pretty much buried in them. The last one fell on his head, with a note attached.

The note read: 'Dear Ratchet,

Since you always threaten to turn us into toasters, we think it means you need some. We weren't sure how many you needed, so we just bought all the store has. Now you will never run out of toasters. You can thank us later.

Sincerely, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker.'

Meanwhile, Wheeljack was laughing his head off at the sight of Ratchet being buried in toasters. He didn't mind that it might mean he wouldn't get a servo. He just couldn't help himself. Ratchet glared at him, but Wheeljack ignored it.

Ratchet then climbed out from the pile of toasters, not at all pleased. He rummaged around in the now messy supply closet, and found the part he needed to replace Wheeljack's servo. He would finish this, and he could deal with the twins later. Wheeljack, however, wasn't so lucky.

Ratchet walked over to the still laughing Wheeljack and glared at him. "Stop laughing now, or I promise you your repairs will not be pleasant," he said.

That shut Wheeljack up, and he let Ratchet work in silence. That didn't stop Ratchet from making his repairs painful. When Ratchet is pissed off, the last thing you want is him repairing you. Wheeljack learned that the hard way.

When Ratchet was finished, Wheeljack rushed out of there like Megatron himself was on his tail. He didn't want to be the victim of the Hatchet's wrath. He would leave that job to the twins.

"Now, time to deal with the twins," Ratchet said to himself. He stalked out of the med bay, looking for the subjects of his ire. He would get revenge.

* * *

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker were hanging out in their quarters, watching their prank unfold. Sideswipe had hacked into the security feed and they were viewing their prank in action.

"Wow, he looks really angry," Sunstreaker said.

"Poor Wheeljack," Sideswipe commented.

"Uh oh, he's leaving. I think he's coming here. That's never a good sign," Sunstreaker said.

"I agree. But what can we do?" Sideswipe replied.

Just then, there was a ping at their quarters door. They knew who it was before they even answered it.

"SIDESWIPE, SUNSTREAKER, OPEN THIS DOOR! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!" Ratchet yelled.

"Okay! We're coming! Please don't hurt us!" Sideswipe said. Then he ran and opened the door. He was letting the Hatchet into his room even though he knew the consequences. It would be worse if he didn't.

Ratchet pulled out his wrench and knocked the twins upside the helm. They fell unconscious. Ratchet knew he could fix the dents and stuff, so he wasn't too worried. He had other things planned at the moment.

* * *

When Sideswipe and Sunstreaker woke up, they felt different. They were in their room, but it seemed bigger. Then, they saw each other.

"Oh, no. He did not," Sunstreaker said, horrified.

"But he did!" Sideswipe replied.

"I thought he was just kidding!" Sunstreaker said.

"Yeah! I didn't think he would actually do it!" Sideswipe agreed.

"HE TURNED US INTO TOASTERS!" they yelled at the same time.

It was true. Sideswipe and Sunstreaker were literally toasters. They still had a head, arms, and legs, but their entire bodies were toasters. They were a couple of red and yellow bread cookers.

They were also smaller. Ratchet had adjusted their head, legs, and arms to fit the dimensions of the toasters. At least he did that. Otherwise they would've looked even more freakish.

Then Sunstreaker noticed the note on the wall. He took it off the wall. "He left a note too. It says, 'Dear Sideswipe and Sunstreaker," Sunstreaker read. "'I didn't want just any toasters. I wanted twin red and yellow toasters. Ones that could talk. So, I built some. I hope you enjoy your new bodies! You get to keep them for the rest of the day. Sincerely, Ratchet.' "

"Oh, no. We let the Hatchet loose. This is not a good sign," Sideswipe said.

"And there's more. 'P.S. Two can play at this game. Or I guess in your case, three,'" Sunstreaker finished.

"This means war. Ratchet has messed with the wrong set of twins," Sideswipe said.

"Yes he has," Sunstreaker agreed.

* * *

**More Notes:**

I told you this was just the beginning! Now it gets serious! I hope you enjoyed this story so far. I am having a lot of fun writing. I would like to thank all the people who reviewed so far! You people make me happy! Now let's see how many more reviewers I can get! Please review everyone! Just no hate! And remember the contest!


	3. Saran Wrap

**Notes:**

Hey everybody! I'm back with another chapter of How to Prank the Hatchet! Sorry about the wait!

Somebody did win the contest for this chapter! It was my good friend Skellington Girl! You may have heard her name before if you've been reading my other story, Starscream and the Sparkling. But she drew a toaster Sunstreaker for last chapter. It is absolutely hilarious and you should check it out! It's on DA. I think it's called Toaster sunny. It is epic.

Anyways, as I promised, she gets her own prank idea in this chapter. And I must say, it is a very awesome idea. Now, on to the story! Please review, but no hate. I hope you enjoy!

P.S. The contest is still running. So if you draw a pic of any prank in this story and let me know where to find it, you get your own idea. You can PM me or let me know in your reviews.

**Disclaimer:** Transformers, their characters, and their franchises do not belong to me. Neither does Saran Wrap or Super Glue. But I do own some toys and a roll of Saran Wrap.

* * *

**How to Prank the Hatchet: Part 3—Saran Wrap**

"This is gonna be awesome!" Sideswipe said to his brother.

"I think this is your best prank idea yet, bro," Sunstreaker replied.

"I told you I was gonna bring out the big guns. I meant it. Come on. We gotta hurry up and finish this before Prime wakes up," Sideswipe said.

"Yeah. That would be awkward. I wonder why he gets up so early," Sunstreaker agreed.

"I don't know. Probably some weird philosophy thing. He's always being all wise and stuff," Sideswipe replied.

"I know," Sunstreaker responded.

"There! Finished! It's a masterpiece. Don't you think so, Sunny?"

"Don't call me Sunny! But I do agree. It is awesome. He won't know what hit him."

Then both twins left for their room so they could watch their prank unfold.

* * *

Ratchet was headed for the medbay once again to start another day of work. He was in a good mood for once because he had finally followed through on one of his threats. And it had worked out very nicely.

When Ratchet got to the entryway of the medbay, however, something stopped him. He had run into some clear kind of film stretched over the doorway. He was going to back up to get rid of it when he realized he was stuck. Super stuck. It was like he was a fly caught on flypaper.

He looked beside him, and noticed a tube of Super Glue. He also noticed an empty roll of Saran Wrap. His good mood was quickly dissipating and in its place was anger. The twins were so going to pay for this.

He tried pulling himself off of the Saran Wrap covered in Super Glue, but it did nothing. If anything, it made him more stuck.

He started struggling. The Saran Wrap came off of the entryway, but it didn't come off of him. It whipped around and wrapped him up in it. He was basically a Saran Wrap mummy.

Ratchet was getting angrier and angrier by the second. Why today? Why now? Couldn't they give him at least one day to be happy? No, they couldn't. They had to ruin by pranking him again.

Looking back at it, maybe pranking the pranksters wasn't such a good idea. It was probably like a declaration of war to them. But Ratchet had had enough. He wanted to get back at them somehow.

Ratchet was fuming. He was going to make those terror twins pay. They wouldn't be allowed to get away with this. But how would he go about it? He decided maybe walking would help him think. He started storming through the halls of the Ark, Saran Wrap and all. Anybot in his path quickly leapt out of his way. Nobody wanted to face the anger of the Hatchet.

He then realized something. Why not fight fire with fire? If they wanted war, he would give them war.

He quickened his pace, heading back to his medbay. First he had to get the stupid Saran Wrap off. The twins would come later. He needed a plan if he wanted to fight in this prank war.

* * *

"Wow bro. He looks like he's ready to kill somebody," Sunstreaker commented. They were watching Red Alert's security feeds that they had hacked into.

"Mainly us. I don't think he enjoyed our present too much," Sideswipe said.

"But it was amazing. You're recording this, right?" Sunstreaker replied.

"Of course I am. We need this for the archives. It's one of our best," Sideswipe answered.

"I just hope he doesn't decide to retaliate. Who knows what he'd do? He does have all those tools at the ready," Sunstreaker said.

"I know bro. But this is war. We know the risks. And it makes it all the more exciting," Sideswipe replied.

"I guess that's true. And you can't have a war unless both sides are fighting."

"Yep. This will be the greatest prank war in existence."

"Yes it will, brother. Yes it will."

* * *

After about three hours, Ratchet had gotten all the Saran Wrap off of himself. Now he started planning. If they wanted to fight dirty, he would fight dirty. This was war. And in war, there are no rules.

Things would never be the same. The Ark had become a battlefield. Any bot that got in the way would be attacked. It was every bot for himself. The Great Prank War had begun.

* * *

**More Notes:**

War has been declared! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I had a lot of fun writing it. Now it gets serious. Well, as serious as a prank war can get. Thanks for reading! Please review! I need reviews! Just don't hate.

I'm still on Deviant Art if you wanna check out my drawings. I've put up a bunch of new ones. All of them are Transformers pics, hehehe. I've gotten a lot better. And the contest is still running. If you draw a prank from any chapter in this story, you get your own prank idea. Just let me know where to find it. You can PM me or let me know in the reviews.

I hope you all enjoyed! And thanks Skellington Girl for the Toaster Sunny. Until next time my dear readers!


	4. Bunnies!

**Notes:**

Hey everyone! Sorry I haven't written in a while. I've been busy with school. And then I didn't have access to a computer for four days. But now I'm back with another chapter!

This is a bit late for both Easter and April Fool's Day, so sorry. But this was one of the ideas that popped into my head one day. I wanted to act on it. Yep, a new battle in this prank war! Yay! Please review! I love reviews! Just don't give me any hate. I hope you enjoy!

The contest is still running for those of you that are wondering. And this would be a great chapter to draw a picture for. So draw a picture for one of the pranks, let me know where to find it, and then PM me your prank idea! Yay!

**Disclaimer:** Transformers, their characters, and their franchises sadly do not belong to me. But they will one day! Even if I have to prank all the people at Hasbro! Mwahahahaha!

* * *

**How to Prank the Hatchet: Part 4—Bunnies!**

Ratchet still hadn't completed his plan for revenge. It was hard coming up with a prank that would get the prankster twins. He decided maybe some recharge would help, so he turned in for the night. He would come up with a plan in the morning.

The problem with that plan, however, was that the twins already had more tricks up their sleeves. They had just learned about the human holiday called Easter. Spike had explained it to them so they wouldn't be confused the next day. Supposedly there was this rabbit that gave eggs and other presents to kids on that morning. He would put them in baskets and hide them. The twins were going to use that knowledge to their advantage.

"He's finally asleep!" Sideswipe announced to his twin.

"Finally! I thought he would never go into recharge!" Sunstreaker replied.

The twins had set up a camera in Ratchet's room a while ago. Since he was usually their victim, they needed to know what he was up to. They didn't want to get caught setting up one of their pranks.

"Do you have the supplies?" Sideswipe asked.

"Yep. Right here," Sunstreaker answered.

"Then let's go!" Sideswipe said.

The twins crept through the halls of the ark with their supplies. They snuck around the corner and stopped in front of Ratchet's room. They easily hacked the lock, and the door slid open. Then they snuck inside.

Ratchet's quarters were fairly neat. There were data pads lining the shelves and a few stacked neatly on a table in the center of the room. There was a desk in one corner with more data pads stacked on it. The bedroom was off to the right. That was where the twins headed.

They snuck into the bedroom as quietly as they could. Ratchet was already deep in recharge. That was a good thing for the twins. They silently crept over to him and got to work.

* * *

The next morning Ratchet woke up to start another day in the med bay. Hopefully he could also come up with a plan to get revenge on the twins for their little Saran Wrap prank.

Unfortunately for the medic, he didn't notice that there was something off until he arrived at the med bay. He was walking by one of the mirrors attached to the med berths when he saw something off in his reflection. He paused, and what he saw shocked and angered him.

Attached to his head were two long rabbit ears. They even twitched and moved like real ones. How the twins managed that, he would never know. With dread, he reached down to find a fluffy tail attached to his aft. He was basically a rabbit.

He felt his face start to heat up. He was going to kill those two. He wouldn't let them get away with this. And their little stunt had finally given him an idea.

Ratchet stormed through the halls of the ark, heading to the rec room. He knew the twins would be there because that was where they always were in the mornings.

* * *

When Ratchet arrived in the rec room, everybody stared at Ratchet before looking away. A couple of snickers could be heard, but they were quiet. Nobody wanted to face the Hatchet's wrath. Especially with him being this angry. Ironhide, however, looked like he was about to say something. And Ratchet saw it.

"Ironhide, do not say a word," Ratchet growled at the weapons specialist.

"Oh yeah! I wouldn't want the Easter Bunny to come and get me!" Ironhide teased.

A couple of giggles could be heard from around the room. Ratchet, however, was not amused. A wrench connected with Ironhide's helm, and all the laughter stopped. Ironhide was left grumbling about the dent in his helm while Ratchet went off to face the true subjects of his ire.

The twins were casually sitting in the corner, drinking their energon and watching it all take place. They were enjoying the fruits of their labor. Watching a bunny Ratchet stomp around the ark was just hilarious. That humor wouldn't last for long, however.

Ratchet came up to the twins table and glared down at them. The bunny ears took off some of the heat, but Ratchet's glares were still scary as heck. Even with bunny ears.

The twins looked back at the bunny Ratchet, half amused, half scared for their lives. They weren't sure whether to run or laugh. Unfortunately for them, they chose the latter. Both twins burst out in fits of laughter. They found the whole thing too amusing not to laugh. Even though they knew it meant certain death.

Ratchet, however, didn't find it funny at all. He grabbed the twins and dragged them out of the rec room. All eyes followed them out of the room. They all knew that the twins would be facing a fate worse than death.

* * *

When the twins woke up, they found themselves in the med bay. At first they thought maybe there was a big battle and they had gotten injured. For some reason, though, they didn't feel the sense of safety they usually felt. Then they remembered why. They both shot up from the med berths and scrambled off. That is when they saw each other.

Sunstreaker had a duck beak attached to his face, and little tail feathers attached to his aft. He was also covered in feathers. He was basically a little duck.

Sideswipe wasn't much better. He had ears on his head, and was covered in wool. He also had a little sheep tail. They had both been turned into Easter animals.

Not only that, but when Sunstreaker tried to talk, all that came out was a quack. And Sideswipe could only make sheep noises. They looked at each other in dread. They were in trouble now. They had messed with the Hatchet, and now they were getting their just desserts.

* * *

**More Notes:**

There you go! A new chapter! I hope you liked it! Sorry it's a bit late for Easter. But I didn't have a computer. I hope you enjoyed anyways! Please review, but no hate!

Don't forget about the contest either. Draw a picture of one of the pranks, and get your own prank idea! I hope you enjoyed my story so far! Until next time, my dear readers!


End file.
